Maybe I really am Miss Chanandler Bong.

Let’s not forget that unfortunate Spongebob scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNsWbK4OkZw

I’m listening, but there’s a deafening sound of a little lady standing by a swab production line, occasionally giving in to her intrusive thoughts of randomly snatching a swab, licking it, feeling a tiny shiver up her spine, giggling briefly, and putting it back. Her heart fluttering each time she dreamt of her next lick.

Don’t worry, OP, no one will conflate you for an AI. You didn’t hyphenate “dystopian-ass”, which is a compound adjective (unless it’s meant to be “ass-time”, a compound noun).

That and Asterix.