That’s the opposite of me today. Standard amount of sleep, cranky as all hell.

For best results, make sure you’ve got a firm grip on the butt

To pass through this door, you can ask us only one question. One of us always lies about changing our mind when presented with facts, and the other doesn’t.

Nay

That’ll go great with a horseburger, and a horse coke to wash it all down.

What is this, a truck of soon-to-be-pencils for giants?

–Did you just refer to me as “White Devil”?

–This how they know you.

Joke’s on you, there’s no way I’m living another 45 years

your paycheck under “Pay to the order of” field

Bold of you to assume the people you’re explaining this for have ever seen a check or had anything but direct deposit

wtf is pajama day?

idk, is she Canadian? she might’ve just been polite

👀

It may just be the picture, but his skin definitely looks rougher than Malcolm McDowell’s does. Whether or not that’s really the case or just how the two photos have been lit, processed, etc. idk. I don’t think he looks bad for 57 necessarily, probably just spent too much time in the sun without adequate protection.

What a fucking missed opportunity to list it for $69.69. You had one job, ebay seller zzzpoo!

Feeling kinda ponnish, might delete later, idk

Grandma hates the environment and wants to make sure no one gets to enjoy it after she’s gone